I used to be someone who would continuously live one step ahead. I am a planner by nature. But, I would already be planning the next step in my life before it even got here. I never really thought about it possibly never getting here or just taking a little longer to get here.
For instance, before I even got married, I worked a job that was considered full time at 30 hours a week. I loved it. I figured my husband and I would get pregnant right away and I would be able to stay home part time. My dream is to be home part time or full time with my babies. I did get pregnant, but then ended up miscarrying about 7 months after getting married. It has been almost a full year since then and we are still not pregnant again. A few months after my miscarriage I decided to try to get a full time job. Going through a miscarriage is heartbreaking and an emotional roller coaster to say the least, so I decided to throw myself into my dreams and to stop living as if I was already pregnant. By living one stop ahead, I realized I was missing out on numerous opportunities.
I now work 50+ hours a week and have been for almost a year. I am a local Fitness Instructor and just started an online fitness coaching program in addition to my 9-5s. I also write here. I am an aspiring writer. I fit all of these hats into the pockets of my days because besides the working 50 hours a week, my true passion is in writing and inspiring others to live their best life possible-through fitness or writing.
My point is that if I wouldn’t have decided to change my ways and take back control of my life after my miscarriage, I don’t know if I would even be remotely close to where I am right now in life. I don’t know if I would be pursuing my dreams. I don’t know if I would have stopped living one step ahead. Although I am working my a## off right now, I keep telling myself, now is the time Tara. NOW is the time. Because you better believe when I finally do get pregnant and have a baby, my focus will go there and I will switch course again.
When this does happen, I don’t think I will leave my dreams in the dust; I think they will come with me. I believe I will be able to stay home with my babies. I don’t know how I will do it or what I will be doing to stay home but, what I do know is my why. Because, I want to be the one to raise my babies. Because, I want to be the one to teach them things. Because, I want to be the one to inspire and encourage them. Because, I want to be the one there when they wake up and be there when they lay their heads down at night. Because, I want to be the one there to watch them fail and then be there to cheer them on to get back up. Because, I want to be the one to snuggle with them and take naps during the day with them just because we can. Because, I want to be the one to cook them a home cooked dinner almost every night of the week. I will sacrifice for my babies when the time comes for me to shift course.
Until then, I am filling the pockets of my days with my dreams and living right now. Because there is no better time than right now.
When we live life in the past, we miss out on the present. When we live life in the future, we miss out on the present. The sad realization is, we can’t get back the now. Once it has passed, it has passed. What we can do is let go of our past, hope for the future, and embrace the now. The past is gone. The future we may never see. Right now is what we are gifted with. Embrace the now, right now.
Love & Blessings,