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The Crap I Think…..

Month

September 2014

The Wonderful

I look one way and all I see are the horrible horrible things.

I look another way and all I see are the wonderful wonderful things.

I decide to focus on the wonderful things I see. I decide to focus on the wonderful path laid out right in front of me. Horrible things happen on this wonderful path yet I still choose to look only at the wonderful. I don’t want the horrible to eat me up. I don’t want the horrible to win. I don’t want my main focus to be on the horrible. As sure as I am of heaven, I don’t want to see only the horrible.

Life is hard. It has many twists and turns and hills and bumps and storms and just so much horrible. It has so many of these things.

Life is also easy. It has many gardens and flowers and streams and meadows and blue skies and just so much wonderful. It has so many of these things.

Even though the horrible will inevitably come. I bring some good news. So will the wonderful. It will inevitably come.

I choose to see the wonderful.

Horrible knocks at my door and I do answer it. I then send it away. The horrible is not welcome even though it tries to make itself welcome.

I welcome the wonderful. The wonderful is always welcome.

Love & Blessings,

Tara

“Good writing succeeds or fails on the strength of its ability to engage you, to make you think, to give you a glimpse into someone else’s head.” ~Malcolm Gladwell

Until It Happens, It Won’t Happen

I want to be a writer. My dream is to publish books….New York Times Bestselling books. I dream of the day my book is delivered to my home in hardcover form. The smell of it, the feeling of the pages being thumbed through, the pen I am signing my books with….ah, I can’t wait. Everytime I go to a bookstore or the library I get this intense feeling. It is a feeling that is hard to describe because there are so many emotions-both high and low attached to it. At ease, at home, at peace, downright excitement, a rush of energy, being in my present yet catching a glimpse of my future; yes, all of this plus so much more.

Here’s the thing though. I’m not one yet. I haven’t even started writing a book yet. Lately I have been dabbling in fiction when I thought for sure I would write nonfiction. Either way what I need to do is start writing my book. My-messy-first-draft-where-I-will-cut-many-pages-out-of-it-before-it-ever-is-perfect-to-me-book. I just need to start. Because until it happens, it won’t happen.

I am reading my way to writing my first book. I am reading 100 books before I turn 31. I am practicing writing daily. I have many good stories going on up there in this head of mine. I am finding out and learning how much more fun fiction can be. Funny thing is, it brings me right back to my childhood days when I would write stories all the time….and read stories all the time.

What is your dream? What are you doing to go after it? Sometimes it won’t make sense what we are doing but I challenge you to have the courage to keep following your heart’s lead. It knows, God knows, what He is doing and where He is leading.

My every intention will always be to get to that first published book, even when it takes me on a major detour.

Until it happens, it won’t happen.

Love & Blessings,

Tara

“Good writing succeeds or fails on the strength of its ability to engage you, to make you think, to give you a glimpse into someone else’s head.” ~Malcolm Gladwell

What Is Life?

“What is life?”

I asked this question on a Thursday night while hanging out with some friends. I had a few drinks in me when I started to get all philosophical because, well, that’s just me.

I said, “Life….Really…..What is life?” I then started looking at my hand and said, “Hand…..What is a hand?” All the while rotating my hand in a circular motion looking at it quizzically.

I mean really. What is anything? Do we really have the power to control our destiny? Do we really have the power to dictate the direction our life goes in? Or are some choices made for us? Is there such thing as divine intervention? Is it we make some choices while others make them for us or are we always making our own choices? Does life really boil down to our reaction to our circumstances? Or is it so much more than that? Can we really control our destiny or is it really up to God? Or is it a combination of both?

I can think of some of the best things in my life that have ever happened to me…..only to have them taken away from me a short time later. Taken from me out of my control. They were the best things and at the same time, the things that made me most sad when taken. So is life knowing the happiest feelings you will ever know because you know the saddest feelings you will ever know?

How else do we know the highs if we never truly experience the lows? How else will we ever know what we want in life if we never know what it is exactly we don’t want? How will we ever learn from our mistakes if we never make any? How else will we experience heartache if we never allow anyone to break our hearts? How else will we ever know how to truly live if we never know what it is like to lose someone we love to death?

The questions could go on and on and sometimes these are the questions I sit and think about for long periods of time…..even when I am feeling a little tipsy. I love to ponder life. I love to know that I am truly living. Even though sometimes I have to ask myself, “Am I truly living? Is life really about living all out balls to the wall life or is it about taking your time and cherishing the moments or is it both…..living balls to the wall in each and every moment?” Oh, life.

So I ask you, “What is life?”

Love & Blessings,

Tara

“Good writing succeeds or fails on the strength of its ability to engage you, to make you think, to give you a glimpse into someone else’s head.” ~Malcolm Gladwell

If……

If I can do it,

Then you can do it.

If I can fall and get back up,

Then you can fall and get back up.

If I can try to reach for the stars,

Then you can try to reach for the stars.

If I can step out and embarrassingly mess up,

Then you can step out and embarrassingly mess up.

If I can stand in front of the crowd and speak up,

Then you can stand in front of the crowd and speak up.

If I can shoot for the moon,

Then you can shoot for the moon.

Because……..

Together we can do it.

Together we can do anything.

Love & Blessings,

Tara

“Good writing succeeds or fails on the strength of its ability to engage you, to make you think, to give you a glimpse into someone else’s head.” ~Malcolm Gladwell

A Piece of My Heart

If you found one place that held you tight,

And made you feel a little less alone,

That made you smile for no reason,

And made you laugh for all the reasons,

That made you feel a little less weird,

And more like you belonged,

That filled your days with loads of sunshine,

And a little less clouds,

That made you escape the trap of time,

And embrace the reality that time is no trap,

That ultimately more than anything else-

Just made you thankful for being you……

If you found one place that did all that for you,

Would you do everything you could do,

To get back to that one place?

Love & Blessings,
Tara

“Good writing succeeds or fails on the strength of its ability to engage you, to make you think, to give you a glimpse into someone else’s head.” ~Malcolm Gladwell

Experience Everything

I read the other day that when given the chance to try something you haven’t yet tried, try it. I read that people should attend everything. Birthday parties, games, sports, get togethers; all of that stuff. The reason is because this is how we truly experience things. And with experience, we are truly living.

This just made me think because I am more of a homebody. I like to be in my own little world more than out in the world. I enjoy the company I am in BUT if you know introverts or are one, you know we also like to recharge a lot. And recharging for us is being home….alone, in our own little world doing our own little things. I really like the idea of trying everything though. And I would even say I am pretty good at saying, “Yeah, count me in. I’ll give it a shot.”

Even when I think back to the times I said I would do something only to catch myself dreading it the day before and yet still sticking to my commitment, it has always been something I’ve walked away from thinking, I’m so glad I did that. Because really, this is how I have had the opportunity to meet so many new great people AND see so many new great things. So many other doors would have never opened if it wasn’t for me sticking to that commitment when I didn’t want to.

So I agree. Go experience everything you can while you can with who you can. And if we live like this every day, just doing our best to experience life, it will all add up to one great helluva life I’d say. I get most of my ideas and inspiration from reading a great book or being out in the world doing things-watching people, watching nature, being in nature, in the city, around people-so many things.

So yes, go experience what you can. Including being alone. Being alone is a beautiful thing to experience.

Love & Blessings,
Tara

“Good writing succeeds or fails on the strength of its ability to engage you, to make you think, to give you a glimpse into someone else’s head.” ~Malcolm Gladwell

I Don’t Want To Drive

I used to drive with my hands gripped to the steering wheel so tightly my knuckles would be white. I never allowed anyone to touch the dial to the radio station. It was where I wanted it to be. I took direction from no one. It was my way. No one else’s.

I don’t drive this way anymore.

Now I lay across the front seat with my feet sticking out the driver’s window and I’m laid back well into the passenger side. I am still strict on who can drive though. I allow one person to take the wheel and have control. I have found life is so much more fulfilling and relaxing this way. Sometimes it is scary but I have complete trust in this person. I know what He wishes will be done. I still do my best every single day to enjoy the ride and be an encouragement to others. I listen to my heart and go after my dreams. I know as long as this person is driving, all will be okay. All will work out the way it is supposed to. I keep doing my thing with my eyes fixed on Him. There is so much freedom in letting go and giving Him complete control. Better than all else.

Trusting in what you do not see is not easy but it is so completely peaceful.

Trust Him. Let Him have the wheel.

Love & Blessings,
Tara

“Good writing succeeds or fails on the strength of its ability to engage you, to make you think, to give you a glimpse into someone else’s head.” ~Malcolm Gladwell

Pretty & Shiny Choices

She was out in the wilderness, 8 days into her 3 month long hike on the Pacific Crest Trail, when she thought about giving up and turning back around. She had just encountered a bear and was no longer sure about this once great idea anymore. Then she thought, I’ve got two choices; turn around and go backward OR keep moving forward. So she picked up one foot first, and then another, and then another, and then another, and………..she decided to keep moving forward.

I am reading, “Wild” by Cheryl Strayed which is where I took this idea from and what a great story so far it is. It’s kind of coincidental actually (if you believe in that). I went backpacking for my first time a couple weeks ago and then found “Wild,” which is about a woman going backpacking for her first time and how it changed her life, how it healed her.

The part of the story about turning back or going forward got me thinking about choices. Choices in general. When you are out in the woods with only a backpack and everything in that pack, your choices are pretty simple. Your choices are pretty easy. Life seems to be much clearer with fewer choices. It’s when we get back to society and the real world that we are bombarded with CHOICES. It is like everyone is pulling at us in every which way and direction; all wanting us to pick them as our choice. “Pick this color, pick this job, pick this school, pick this food, pick this shirt, pick this hospital, pick this, pick this, PICK THIS!!!!!,” they all say. Wait, they all SCREAM.

The simplicity of life is so sweet. And, I literally mean sweet; pleasing and delightful, as one definition puts it. We allow everything around us to complicate it. We allow everything around us to pile on more choices and more choices for us to feel like we have to choose from. Choices are shiny and pretty; the more the merrier……right?

I remember when I was planning my wedding how overwhelmed I would get with ALL the choices. Which flowers, which venue, which dress, what hair style, what party favors, what church, what honeymoon, what house, what invitation, what food, bridal shower, what, what WHAT!?!?? I had freak out moments A LOT. Moments when I didn’t care anymore what the wedding turned out to be like. Thank God my mom saved the day and took over; otherwise it would have been a pretty plain wedding with no food. But really when I think back, all that I wanted on that day was to marry my future husband. That was it. Yet, for me, it was the most stressful time and day of my life. I know most people say their wedding day was the happiest day of their life but for me, it just wasn’t. My husband knows this. I wish I could say it was and I wish I could say I truly enjoyed that day but for me, it was filled with stress and worries and anxiety and all those fricken choices I had to make or not make to make that one day look beautiful…..for everyone else. Because really, in the beginning I didn’t care about everyone else on that day, yet on that day, caring about everyone else is what it came down to.

My point is, with fewer choices, life is so much sweeter. Getting back to the basics, “What do YOU want?” If you know what you want, go get what you want. Don’t go looking at the other choices out there…..unless you are not sure what you want. Why complicate it?

Remember, what you want WILL be different from what others want. And, that is okay. What is even more okay is even if what you want is against the majority of what everyone else wants.

Ahhh, with fewer choices…..life is so sweet.

 Love & Blessings,

Tara

“Good writing succeeds or fails on the strength of its ability to engage you, to make you think, to give you a glimpse into someone else’s head.” ~Malcolm Gladwell

Depants’d

She had been talking to him in midsentence as he walked through the kitchen and into the living room. As her husband walked past her in the kitchen, he even muttered something like, “Yeah.” As if he was listening to her. When she realized she was still talking and he wasn’t even in the kitchen anymore, she went into the living room and said to her husband, “Really?”

Her husband looked at her a little puzzled and said, “What?”

“I was talking to you and you weren’t even there anymore.”

“You were talking??”

Oh, men. How many times do we tell our significant others something only to learn later that they weren’t even listening? Or their claim to fame is, “I forgot.”

When my friend told me this story, we were bursting with laughter. At the time I’m sure it wasn’t so funny but looking back, it was comical. And we laughed about it. We laughed at the whole situation. We laughed at her husband. And we laughed at each other. What an idiot, we thought (in good fun).

There will be plenty of times in our lives where we will want to take an empty beer bottle to the back of our significant other’s head-just to knock some sense into them or knock something out of them. We will be mad, angry, upset, frustrated; ready to go at them with claws out and fangs full of venom. In these moments, it is hard not to give them a piece of our mind or SCREAM REALLY LOUD so for once they may actually HEAR us. I simply encourage you to take a step back in these moments and depants the man. Seriously. I remember an ex-boyfriend of mine who did this to me when we were fighting. It did make me more upset for a minute but then I just laughed. And continued to laugh. Then laughed even more. The fight was over. It was done. All because he depants’d me.

Depants the man next time he peos you off. Let me know how it works.

Love & Blessings,

Tara

“Good writing succeeds or fails on the strength of its ability to engage you, to make you think, to give you a glimpse into someone else’s head.” ~Malcolm Gladwell

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