About four years ago when I was working in a prison and wasn’t too fond of it, I was asked by a co-worker, “What do you want?”

I was on break in a depressed mood about life and my career situation when this Officer came into the break room and we started to conversate. He asked me if I always wanted to stay working a prison. When you work in a male prison as a female this is one of the most common questions asked by inmates and staff. The other one for me was, “What is your ethnicity?”

Anyways, the Officer asked me, “Do you want to stay here working in a prison for the rest of your career?”

I looked at him and said, “No. At least not in the position I am in now.”

He followed up with, “What do you want?”

I thought about it for a moment and said, “I don’t really know. That’s a hard question. I don’t want to work in a prison anymore. I don’t want to work weekends anymore. I don’t want to work 2nd shift anymore. I don’t want to wear the same thing to work anymore. I don’t want to go back to school at this point. I don’t really want to eat Ramon Noodles for the rest of my life (as I looked down at my bowl of warmed up Ramon Noodles). I don’t know. I’m just not sure what I want.”

He then looked straight at me, “You know what you don’t want, so see there, you know what you want.” And then he left.

After he walked out I sat there quizzically deep in thought. He was right. I did know what I wanted.

This moment has stuck with me for years.

Sometimes we think we have no idea what we want in life. We feel kind of lost and have no idea where to even start to think about what we do want. My suggestion; think about what you don’t want. Start there. Then think about what your ideal day would consist of.

From these two points I think you can gather some pretty insightful information into the life that you do want.

Love & Blessings,


“Good writing succeeds or fails on the strength of its ability to engage you, to make you think, to give you a glimpse into someone else’s head.” ~Malcolm Gladwell