Whenever I see others achieving dreams that are similar to the dreams I have, I get a little jealous. Ok. Maybe A LOT jealous. I see someone finally got their book published and I can’t help but have a gut reaction that screams sadness and jealousy. A gut reaction that in that second makes me want to give up on my dream because NO ONE likes what I have to say anyways. No one likes my writing. My audience would NEVER grow big enough to have the opportunity to publish a book. You know that voice….. That stupid little voice. Ugh. It sucks. And to get it to shut up is like a fricken water slide that you’re trying to climb UP. Who would even try to climb UP a water slide anyways?? Me. That’s who.
I won’t lie. It stings when others have achieved their dream and you are still out there working on yours. I’ve learned to allow myself to feel it, for a second, but then I punch that jealousy in the face. I SHARE someone’s writing I admire. I LIKE a post that I first read and got jealous that I didn’t write it because it was soooo good. I BUY that book they just published. It’s the only way I can think of to make that punch effin sting. And last. I LEARN to turn that jealousy into something beautiful. Because the truth is, that person has EARNED it. That person has worked HARD for it. And they downright effin DESERVE it.
The other thing I remind myself of is God’s timing. I HAVE to believe it is not the right time for my time yet. Because if you KNOW the dream in your heart and you are working hard on that dream and you keep getting back up every time you are pushed down, is the dream that was planted in you by the Universe, than it WILL happen. It HAS to. Otherwise it makes no gosh darn sense it is there, in you, pulling you, haunting you, using you, forcing you; to love what you love.
If I woke up tomorrow with nothing. NOTHING. No family, no friends, no pets; nothing. I believe I would find myself going to the nearest library. I believe the instant I would walk in that library I would find myself amazed and in awe of books. I believe I would grab a book and start reading it. I believe then I would HAVE to grab a pen and paper and start taking notes from my mind. I believe if all was taken from me, the ONE place I would turn to in an instant is this place. It wouldn’t be a church. It wouldn’t be working out. It would be in my writing. This is where I connect most with God. This is where I feel most spiritual. In my writing. The writing that comes from my heart. The heart that God made for me.
You can’t force passion. Passion forces you. It haunts you. It whispers to you. It breezes by you. It nudges you. It will trip you up. It is you.
Jealousy never wins with me. Don’t let it ever win with you. Let love always win instead.
Love & Blessings,
“Good writing succeeds or fails on the strength of its ability to engage you, to make you think, to give you a glimpse into someone else’s head.” ~Malcolm Gladwell